Love is sacred in our lives… we need love to thrive… love motivates us to be and do better in life… when we are loved, we feel safe, validated, valued so we are willing to stretch ourselves, to set bigger goals for ourselves. But for some, finding the love they want becomes something of a painful and arduous journey.
Love comes in many shapes and sizes, from parents, siblings, cousins, friends, colleagues, pets. But while it may be relatively easy to find love in abundance around us, it often isn't so easy to find a loving partner. Some of my clients become quite desperate in their search to find "the one,"
This list of Don's and Don'ts was compiled from the thousands of love readings that I have dome over the years. If you are looking for love, it can inspire you to shift gears so that the doors to a loving partnership can open for you.
When Looking for a Partner
- Make the most of your time and freedom, get out with friends, volunteer in your community, take classes that may interest you, get fit, get involved in your world, respond to the needs of the people around you….
- Meditate and pray that the right partner will present themselves in your life, see yourself taking a walk with someone you love, or having dinner, cooking together… and while you’re meditating, look inward for conflicts, fears about commitment or intimacy. While self-esteem issues, fears of not being worthy can plague young and old in relationship, I have often noticed especially among more mature men and women a conflict around their desire for a partner and their love of independence. Some folks are reluctant to give up their lives as they are – they may attract a lot of interesting potentials but then are confused at why nothing sticks…
- Love yourself and your life enough to attract a loving partner…. enjoy your life as it is!
- Notice, nurture and treasure the love that is already in your life, whether from family, friends, colleagues or pets, Love comes in many forms… the more you nurture love around you, – in any form – the more likely it is that you will attract a loving partner.
- Trust that your life has purpose as it is right now… accept that you have a reason for being single at this point in your life – look for the lessons in the experience… perhaps this is about your learning to stand tall in your own decisions, or to prove to yourself that you have it in you to take care of yourself… value your "singledom" and it will reward you eventually…
- Focus on your lack – remember you get what you focus on… the more you love yourself and your life and are involved and enthusiastic, the more likely you will find a loving partner. Instead of notiicing what you are missing, notice what you have to be grateful for… Focus on what works in your life, what is uplifting and life-affirming
- Compare yourself to your friends… while they may look happy, you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors… we are each walking our own unique path, marching to our own drum and to our own timetable….
- Let fear get in your way… fear acts like a magnet, attracting exactly what we don't want to us… It can be useful to take time to dig around inside, to see what you are afraid of – make a list of your fears and then burn the list at the full moon. Trust that you are exactly where you should be in llife, that you are loveable and worthy of love – and that ultimately love will find you. Avoid triggering your fears by taking it slow when you meet someone interesting.. seek friendships before romance so you can allow love to grow naturally and comfortably.
- Get discouraged, rather, be open, willing to explore. An optimistic attitude is far more likely to attract a loving partner – who will probably share your optimism.