By Carmen

There are advantages and disadvantages to being too tuned into your partner. Oftentimes my clients will tell me they feel their partner in their mind strongly if they are angry at each other. This feeling can be described as almost like a ‘scent’ or ‘colour’. This deep presence is often one of the more annoying or aggravating aspects of being connected to your fellow man/woman or partner. Parents can feel their children. Children get annoyed feeling their parent’s attention. Friends know when friends withdraw and lovers seem to know when the relationship is ending. On the opposite side, this can be used to understand a person’s fears and needs and not capitalize on them, but to help them through their difficult time.  Most of the readings I do I notice that people feel all kinds of extreme fears and anxieties, some are never actualized, but I can assure you the partner knows
about these fears and this can exacerbate their anxiety.

The problem is that due to our experiences in life we tend to feel more of the negative emotions than the positive feedback. For example, my clients occasionally tell me their partner wants to take them back – and I pay attention to these situations as they may signal a truth that I as a third party am not privy to.

I believe that many of my clients do know what is happening in their relationships, and people like myself are fact checkers, simply verifying or confirming their suspicions and expectations. It’s rare that a client will tell me: “I know this man loves me – through and through, that there is no one else, that we will make it.” This is often due to conditioning. This type of feeling is exacted from years of rejection in relationships. We often forget that by the time we have matured ( or lived past the age of thirty ) most people will be jaded by relationships ending, and often too broken to carry on. They do, but poorly, often trying to put on a game-face for their married or involved friends, further breaking themselves in the process by fearing looking lonely. The adage ‘look involved’ becomes more important than ‘be yourself’, be happy and find someone when you are ready.

I do have confidence in most of my clients. There are many that cannot let go, the occasional client can become self-deluded through grief, and we work through this over time to sort out perhaps a small portion of self-deception. I do believe many of my clients’ relationships are sacred – like hallowed ground, I cannot anticipate or correct them on what is good for them.

This brings us to the difficult task of confirming or rejecting a clients’ world-view. Is it more beneficial to let them stay there? Must one make someone let go?

I draw on what my clients say after my reading – as I do know that many of my clients are 80% correct on their own lives. This is due to their highly connected selves. Men can be almost as intuitive as women; they just seem to battle with self-expression. They also have problems when their partner is ‘in their head’. If that is the case, perhaps we need to start living with each other better and resolving problems if possible – as soon as possible?

Does one really want to drag around a lost or tragic cause, someone’s distorted emotional view? The best thing at that point can be to let the person go by forgiving them. Oftentimes I believe this forgiveness can be felt by the other person and they will let go – thus freeing up your brain.Connectivity can be a curse – or a cure. Decide what it is for you – when you are ready.

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